The Two Things I’m Committing to in Q4
Seven days into Q4, 2022 and I’m feeling…
Ambivalent.
I’m Type-A.
I want to double down on my unfinished 2022 goals and finish the year strong. That means lose 20 lbs, release a podcast, create a lot more content for my business, and finally organize my office, all in the brief 85 days remaining in the year.
(And if I’m being honest, there are likely even more goals I set at the beginning of the year written on some scrap pieces of paper or random post-it notes hidden in one of the mountain of piles in my office. Now I’m wondering if I should add finding these elusive notes to the 85-day list? It would make a dent in the organization efforts, if nothing else. 🥴)
“I often feel like I should already have this figured out. It’s not like this is my first Q4 rodeo, after all.”
The list of known goals is substantial enough, even without finding the goals captured on rogue sheets of paper. And then there’s all the holiday shenanigans to tend to in Q4, too, such as:
gift purchasing
gift wrapping
buying/making and sending holiday cards (am I the only one who still does this?!)
hosting/attending gatherings
lots of cooking and baking
making my daughter’s annual yearbook (that’s another post)
my husband’s birthday
and “enjoying the season”
Oh, and let’s not forget planning for the new year, because I should plan ahead for all that I want to accomplish in 2023 before it starts, right? 🤯
I’m human.
My heart is starting to palpitate just a bit as I type all this, which leads me into the other feelings that I’m dealing with…
Straight up resistance.
Resistance to the hustle, to the “big goals,” to the sense that I need to pursue the ambitions I initially set, or else feel like a miserable failure, despite anything I’d accomplished this year.
I want to lean into the simpler moments of life. Ones where I can linger more, breathe freely, and be more present…dare I say, joyful at the mundaneness of life. I also don’t want to have to hustle in order to have a thriving business, one I’m proud of, yet still has an impact on many moms.
I’m conflicted.
I want to do all the things!
I want to check the box next to every single goal I set at the beginning of the year. They were made with the best intentions to build a thriving business and to tend to my physical health and mental wellness. And I’ve made strides on many of them already. So it’s not like I’m starting from scratch on them all. (Yay, me! 👏 )
And…
I don’t want to do any of the things!
“All we know is we want more space to breathe and actually enjoy our lives while we actually have one.”
I want to lean into the ease of waking up without an alarm, dancing around the house as I clean, reading every single unread book that crowds my bookshelves, pausing to listen to the birdsong outside my morning room, and traveling around the world in early retirement, and whatever the hell else lights me up at any given stage of my life.
I’m not alone.
So many moms are feeling like this now, aren’t we?
I’m not just talking about Q4 and goals. I’m talking about life in general.
Over the past two years, many of us have decided that life shouldn’t fit in the spaces between work, but rather work should support the life we want to create…if work is a part of the equation at all.
As talk about languishing, quiet quitting, and early retirement make the headlines, it’s evident so many of us are processing conflicted feelings across many aspects of our lives.
Both individually and collectively, we’re still processing the fallout of the past two years. It’s left us with lots of internal emotional conflict that we’re not sure what to do with. All we know is we want more space to breathe and actually enjoy our lives while we actually have one.
I’m committed.
As I process all these feelings, I’m making two commitments.
The first, a commitment to finding some kind of “balance” between the two spectrums: go all-in vs check the eff out.
Oh, don’t get me started on the word “balance,” ok? Some love it. Some hate it. Personally, I’m in the former camp. (For this post, just know that “balance” to me doesn’t mean equal distribution amongst the myriad things, but rather proportional balance of what I desire vs my current state of responsibilities—the things I want to do vs the things I must do.)
So how does one find balance amidst the ambivalence?
Evaluate the underlying motivators of each of the things you want to accomplish. If either fear of what others would say or the sense of “should” are any part of the driver behind these Q4 projects, then that’s a good indication that it should be eliminated. Alternatively, if a sense of freedom, ease, curiosity, expansion, or sheer drive are motivators for a project, then it’s likely it belongs in the Hell Yes list.
Think about what you’d be MOST proud you did (or didn’t do) if you were looking back on this time from the future. I tend to think BIG and wanna run FASTER than is actually possible in my business. So I typically end up with tons of ideas on “this year’s” list, when it really should be an effort two to three years down the road. And as for personal connections and prioritizing those I love, I promise I will NEVER, ever see that as wasted time.
The second commitment is giving myself grace.
I often feel like I should already have this figured out. It’s not like this is my first Q4 rodeo, after all. But, I catch myself, put a stop to the shaming, and remind myself that everyday is a new day given my own state of becoming and the variety of external inputs I’m navigating. Therefore, this is, in fact, my first (and only) time I’ll ever experience Q4 in 2022.
So, while I don’t have this Q4 figured out just yet, I’ve got my game plan and I’m confident that it’ll unfold exactly as it should. I’ll make the decisions that are appropriate for me and my family, in this season of life. And regardless of how many things get done (or don’t), all will be well.
